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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in Tech Support Purgatory's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 21st, 2005
2:28 pm
Intro post
Hello all! I just joined this community and I tell you it's a saving grace. I work in tech support, for a small company (of about 22 people total) who service the tire retreading industry. I support the software (run on a unix korn shell platform) and hardware (symbol pocket pc's and palm computers) and I've got stories just like the rest of you.

What makes it infinitely worse, is that I have to deal with Tire Retreaders. The most blue collar worker you could ever imagine, and most don't own a computer themselves.

For instance, yesterday, I had to explain what the cursor was, and that it wasn't someone with a foul mouth.

I swear, I couldn't make this shit up.

Anywho, just wanted to say hey to all the other TSRs out there!

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
5:22 pm
work sucks.
ugh... killing people.

him: so, i can't get connected with vpn. i haven't been able to since 10:30 yesterday morning.
me: did anything change on the system?
him: no, it just stopped working.
me: are you using high speed or dial up?
him: high speed. (*which isn't technically supported*) but it worked fine until 10:30 am yesterday.
::after the vpn t/s checklist::
me: ok, the next step is to hook it up to the phone line, and try dialing into vpn.
him: but what would that do? nothing changed.
me: that would establish if the fault was the program, or if the fault was the isp.
him: but nothing changed.
me: yeah, but i don't have anything else to check. you're not getting through to our server with your computer, so we need to figure out what's causing it.
him: hm... ok. i'll try it and call back later.

he's going to call back later, and get me or charles, and we'll tell him the same thing. argh!

(xposted to my journal.)

Current Mood: argh!
Saturday, May 24th, 2003
9:28 am
A minor rant to start the day...
I've worked in tech support for a number of years, in the mindset that if I start with Level One/Helpdesk, I can easily go to desktop or client configuration or something like that. Right?Read more...Collapse )
Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
7:24 am
BAH!!! Bah, I say.
First of all, why the hell don't these idiots understand that just because the answer I am giving them is not what they want to hear that doesn't mean I am NOT answering their question.

Second of all, if some stupid (insert profanities here) tech uninstalls open office from my machine at work again, I'm going to put a bomb in the monitor, I swear.

*pulling hair*
Friday, July 19th, 2002
11:07 am
Wasting Time
There is nothing worse in this world than having someone call in for technical support when they're not in front of the computer.

Agent: I'm not in front of my computer right now, but your software isn't running financial responsibility.
Me: Are you getting an error message?
Agent: No, I just don't have any where to select to run it. Then its supposed to run the Clue/MVR too, and it doesn' t do that.
Me: The software should be doing both of those things. What happens when you click the "Order" button on the "Premium" tab.
Agent: Premium tab?
Me: Yes, you should have three tabs. What tab are you trying to order credit from?
Agent: Well, I used to be able to just put in the information and have it order credit. But, now its not ordering credit.
Me: But are you ordering it from the Premium?
Agent: I don't know why its not ordering credit. Can you tell me why its not ordering credit?
Me: Not without getting some more information about what's going on.
Agent: Well, I'm in Illinois now. Maybe I should call back when I'm in front of the computer?
Me: Yes, that would be best, so we could go through some things and find out what's wrong with it.

The agent then asked me 2 more questions that I referred to the software for. Finally he gave up and hung up on me. So, tell me, what made him think that I could tell him exactly what was going on with his system. It helps us out if they come prepared, you know?

Current Mood: aggravated
Monday, July 15th, 2002
9:10 am
Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0 CD backwards you can hear all kinds of evil and satanic messages!"

Guy #2: "That's nothing--if you play it forwards, it installs AOL."
Wednesday, July 10th, 2002
10:49 am
ummm. first call resolutions? my trainer never told me about those.
Last night at the end of my shift, I get a call from a woman who is not moving any data. Can't ping out or do any sort of tracert. She was instructed by another tech that she had spoken with four times prior to contact Dell (her OEM). His suggestion was that there was some sort of firewall in Norton Anti-Virus 2002 that was causing the issue. Which doesn't even have a firewall. So she calls Dell. They have her run ipconfig and tell her the reason she's not moving data is because her IP and default gateway are the same. But that was certainly not the issue. So I run some tests from the office. Connect to her pop as her and I duplicate her issue perfectly. So I checked her Authentication Profile and notice she subscribes to the family filter. Which means she needs to use a proxy in her browser. So we add that and she's pulling up Google. So I was so kind as to CC a copy of the trouble ticket to the prior tech. This guy is supposed to be some uber tech too. Next time, try using the First Call Resolutions.

Current Mood: irritated
Monday, July 8th, 2002
3:25 pm
"will Microsoft XP make my Mac run faster"

stupid quote of the day..

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002
12:04 pm
Even worse than the end users are the people I work with...
So, we get assigned "callbacks" where we call back the people who couldn't wait and left messages on the VM here. Sometimes, we call them that same day. More often is the next day or later. (Why they don't just wait on hold, I'll never know)

This callback was an installation call. He's getting an unhandled exception on the install. Oddly enough, this error is generated when the Install Shield program doesn't know what's going on, and therefore can't "handle" it. Usually, a previous install was cancelled out in the middle, and its not sure where to pick up. EVERYONE here knows this. EVERYONE knows how to work around it. We saw it a lot during the last round of updates because so many of EVERYONE did non-standard installs.

Yet, when I call this guy back, he said he called and talked to someone this morning, and they told him it was a Windows problem. Yes, that's right. An InstallShield error being generated by our program which everyone has seen before and knows how to work around is a Windows issue.

And, to top it off, whomever this agent spoke to didn't log the call. So, I don't know who to go beat with the phone cord for being an idiot, and worse than the end user/agent.

Current Mood: frustrated
Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
4:04 pm
When you call in for tech support...
... it always helps to have a reading level of at least 8th grade so that when we ask you to read us the error messages you can read them.

An even better question would be, how on earth did you make it into the insurance business without being able to read?

Current Mood: frustrated
Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002
12:37 pm
One support number for all your needs?
I know this may surprise you, caller. But, software support doesn't include installing all the periphrials that our software uses. Calling us to have us walk you through installing your printer, so that it doesn't tell you it can't print because no printer is installed is not really our problem.

Current Mood: annoyed
Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
4:24 am
user: does it matter if i capitalize the numbers?
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002
12:34 pm
People who don't listen

When Choicepoint goes down, our software freezes up when running reports. So, today our Server Admin decided to put a message up saying "The external report provider is experiencing technical difficulties, so external reports are not being ordered."

So, tell me why these agents felt the need to call and see what that error message means?

Current Mood: aggravated
Saturday, December 29th, 2001
5:18 pm
Like So Many Deer I catch them In my Headlights.
I work in Data Business Support. I talk to commercial customers with (usually) Very Expensive accounts. I do not talk to Residential customers, if they wander into my queue by "mistake" I transfer them to the appropriate department. The part I love is this...

Me: Thank you for calling Cox Communications, this is Me how can I help you?
Them: Something something, internet broken, no email, something something
Me: Hmm, lights on your modem? Stuff, something, City are you in?
Them: Uhh, Springdale.
Me: Ok, and what is the name of your Company?
Them: Uhhhh, Cox Communications?
Me: No, I mean the name of your business.
Them: Uhhh, what now?
Me: Hold on just a sec.
Them: Oh, ummmm, ok.
Then I drop them in the abyss that is Data Residential Support!

Yea, thats happened like 6 times today. Even better is this one.

Me: *Greeting*
Them: I think I hit the wrong button.. But anyway..
Me: Thats Ok, hold on just a sec.
Them: No, wait, wha *click*
And to the abyss they go.

Its great. They think are so smooth. And I drop kick their asses to at least a 30 minute wait.

Current Mood: accomplished
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2001
8:39 am
My Site.
You'll love it.
Ask a Dick!
8:19 am
We are going to need...
Your Windows CD, to reinstall some windows components. No, if that CD says "Restore" CD, thats not it. Nope, it doesn't say "Ethernol adpater" either. No, really, can't get around needing that CD to reinstall TCP/IP. Ok, call me back.

He calls back, having found some CD, wasn't it.

I'll keep you updated.

Current Mood: sleepy
Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
10:53 pm
"Uuum, my printer isn't working..."
"How so?"
"It's dead"
...Does it give you an error message??"
"oh no... It is just printing really bad, it's smearing almost a few lines distance"
"When did this start happening"
"After I cleaned it this morning"
"What did you use to clean it?"
"Q-tips and nail polish remover"

uuum, yeah. . Anyway, I too work technical support, for a chain of supermarkets. Problems ranging from registers acting posessed, and headquarter office printer problems. Fun fun. saw the community and I had to join. :)

Current Mood: amused

Sunday, May 13th, 2001
12:01 am
Just found this today, its a perfect place for me to vent about my job. I work for Microsoft Outlook tech support. Note I said Outlook, not MSN. I'd say roughly 50% of our calls are people who MSN told to call us to do something as simple as check the checkbox for "Logon using secure password authentication" in their account properties.

My main beef with MSN is that they seem to be actively trying to break their customers systems. Why else would they release a version of their software that upon installation silently converts the persons email account to a web-based HOTMAIL type account, which is incompatible with everything except Outlook Express and MSN explorer? When that happened every Outlook user was totally fucked.

More recently, they started requiring a name/PW and secure password authentication for SMTP servers (not to mention that they firewall port 25 outgoing, so MSN dialup users can ONLY use MSN SMTP servers). Because of this name/PW restriction, now their service is incompatible with Outlook 97, OE4, and basically every other email client. No linux clients, no beos clients, no other windows clients except OE5+ and Outlook98+ can send mail now.

We get surveys for customer satisfaction. Since these changes have taken place, OUR survey level has dropped about 20%, because when the independent survey company calls our customers to find out if they were satisfied with our (Outlook) tech support, they just say they're surveying for a Microsoft issue, and everyone thinks that we're MSN, and gives us crappy ratings.

Finally, here's something humorous that a MSN tech told one of my callers (while I was muted cause I was warm transferring the customer to MSN):
MSN Tech: The reason you can't check mail right now is that the Microsoft Outlook Express mail server is down.

So MSN maintains a separate server for each client that is being used to access POP3 mail? :)

Current Mood: bitchy
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